the Future.
The Age Of The Space Ninjas
From Futurapedia
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The Age Of The Space Ninjas
Following the reinvention of the wheel in 2899, Zombie Stalin left earth to pursue his dream of becoming a broadway dancer, leaving Earth defenceless from Supervillians. Seizing this opportunity to gain power, a group of Satanic Wrestling Nuns stormed the White House on October 12th, leaving no survivors. The Nuns intented to take command of the Cyborg Redneck army that had been created following the Fourth American Civil War, and use them to enslave humanity once again.
The Moon Prophet
Conveniently, Cyborg Pirate Ninja Jesus happened to know the number of a local Moon Prophet, who was able to construct a humourously-sized telephone for mankind at a discount rate. The remaining Robot Presidents Of America made a reverse charge call to outer space, in a desperate plea for help.
They also ordered a pizza, under the name "Hugh Jass", and giggled about it for a few minutes.
The Coming Of The Space Ninjas
Luckily for those left on Earth, The Ninja King heard mankinds plea for help, and agreed to assist against the Satanic Wrestling Nuns and the redneck masses, in exchange for all of the cheap kung-fu movies that had been created in the 80's.
The Ninja King sent his most trusted troops, the Space Ninjas to Earth via flying Buddhist temples. The Space Ninjas first move was to engage the larger portion of the Cyborg Redneck army, which had set up camp in a nearby trailer park, and was preoccupied with a local Civil War reenactment. On October 11th (the ninjas were so fast the arrived before the message was even sent), under cover of darkness, the ninjas attacked the Redneck army, and a fierce battle was fought. Utilising various ninja powers, the Space Ninjas overcame the hoardes of rednecks, and drove them back towards Alabama, where they were sealed forever, doomed to go bowling and drink excessive amounts of alcohol for all eternity.
The Battle For The White House
Seeing their forces crushed by ninjas, the Satanic Wrestling Nuns barricaded the doors, and launched the White House into space, using the engines installed by Richard Nixon in his 1st term of office. Unfortunately, The Ninja King was waiting for them in space, and teamed up with Chuck Norris to storm the White House. Breaking down the door with Chuck's beard, the pair were faced with hundreds of nuns in spandex wrestling costumes, a sight that would cause lesser mortals to tear out their own eyes. Chuck and The Ninja King drew their lightsabers and engaged the nuns at pricisely 8:26pm on October 13th.
On April 2nd, 2900, the battle was over with countless nuns' bodies' bedecking the corridors of the White House. The Ninja King and Chuck Norris were busy preparing for the after party, and had not noticed that Mother Damnation, the leader of the Nuns, had survived. Mother Damnation drew her NUNchucks and was about to kill The Ninja King when John Petrucci time travelled to the White House and melted her face with a phrygian dominant solo that lasted 14 minutes 23 seconds. He then went home and recorded Dream Theater's 79th kickass album.
Massive Afterparty
Everybody got really drunk and Cannibal Corpse played some classic songs at the party, and Space Ninjas ruled the Earth with justice and compassion for the next ten thousand years.
All was well.
Until the Wookie Inquisition of 3011.
